Chap. 18: Hold Me

Hola! Barbiecita's! X) Here's the full chapter. I dn't think it's as long as usual, sorry bout that, but it's STILL a full chapter. You can ALLLLLLL thank @Illtakeuhigh (thas mi TWIIIIN :p follow she) She helped me with this ALOT!!! She is the reason this chapter turned out the way it did. Twin helped me make very important decisions :) If it wurn't for her, this chapter would have went a totally different direction and you guyz would've probably hated me more than you do now, lol. Twin's also the reason i picked it up from the same nite. Mkay, enuff talk, read on duuudes!!


Chapter: 18

Previously…

“Hold on tight baby… I’m about to pull out.”

“No, please…. I want it all baby. Give it to me…” She breathlessly begged.

“Onika… I—“

“Aubrey… please? Let me have it….”

He pulled out and came on the blue sleeping bag beneath them. “I jus…. I’m… not ready yet……”

Nicki pressed her lips together as her tears got heavier and raced to her ears. “It’s….. okay……. I’ll…… I’ll wait……… I can…… wait…….” She whispered, her voice quivering; full of a hidden cry. 

Nicki rolled over and balled herself up into fetal position.

“I’m sorry….” Drake said a second time. She didn’t respond, but he didn’t expect her to. Drake just wanted her to know; to hear him. He looked down at her and watched as the tears rolled down her face. Nicki could feel him staring. She closed her eyes and put her arm over the side of her face covering her ears. Drake looked away. He picked up the shirt he’d taken off and cleaned up his mess. He tossed the tee into the bushes and wrapped himself around Nicki; lying behind her, his arm around her waist. Drake held onto her as tightly, but gently as he could, nuzzling his face in her neck. He didn’t want to let her go.

“I’m sorry….”

Now…

"Let..... me go... Drake..." She sniveled, her voice hitched and catching in her throat.

"No."

"Drake.... please, jus.... get off me." Nicki continued to cry. She grabbed his wrist and took his arm from around her waist. She scooted forward so that their bodies were no longer touching.

Drake sat up and looked down at her. "Nicki please don't be this way baby."

She rubbed the tears from her eyes and sat up to look at him. "Can you.... move please? I want... m- my bag..." She was tugging at the zipper on the fuchsia colored sleeping bag beneath him. Drake scooted over and Nicki unzipped the conjoined sleeping bags. She gathered her bra, panties and pants then stood up and went to go sleep in the tent. Drake watched her as she left. He saw her zip up the entrance to the tent. He heard her zipping up her sleeping bag. He heard her fighting back tears. He heard her losing the battle and sobbing into her bag. Drake sat there staring at the wall Nicki had put up between them. He adverted his vision and found his briefs. He put them back on and slid into his navy blue bag, zipped it up and forced himself to close his eyes. He couldn't sleep knowing he was the cause of her muffled cries. Drake didn't want to be that guy. The one who causes pain. He was supposed to be the hero. He was supposed to heal, not damage. He tossed and turned listening to her cry out. Drake couldn't take it, he didn't want to. He couldn't handle it. He got up and walked over to the tents entrance. The closer he got, the more it hurt. He could feel Nicki's pain. *What the fuck did I do?* He thought, shaking his head. He took a deep breath and began unzipping the tent. Drake heard her stop. Nicki poked her head out of her sleeping bag like a tortoise poking its head out of its shell. Drake climbed in, down on his knees, and crawled over to her. Nicki quickly tucked her head back in her shell.

"Leave... me a- alone Aubrey"

"No, we need to talk about this."

"No.... w- we don't. You.... made it clear t- to me. We both.... w- want different things... and right now, all.... I- I- I want.... is to be.... a- a-  alooone."

"I'm not goin to sleep until we work this out. I'm stayin right here until you're ready to talk to me." He said, kneeling beside her. He was semi-leaning over her on all fours, his head hanging, his mouth near her ear, his right hand on her back, his left holding him up. Nicki pulled the sleeping bag from over her head. Feeling his breath against her ear, she shivered and pushed his head away, tears still painted on her cheeks. Drake sat all the way up on his knees as Nicki rolled all the way over to her other side and scooted to the far side of the tent. "Nicki?”

"Get out..." She breathed.

"I told you I'm not leavin." He reached out and touched her shoulder. Nicki jerked away from him.

"Please.... don't touch me... jus go Aubrey..." She cried.

"Stop pushing me away Onika. You're bein selfish."

Nicki raised up. She slowly turned around scowling at him. "ME?! Selfish?! Aubrey?!?! How the fuck am I being selfish?! Do you NOT know what I gave you tonight?!? And I'M selfish?!?!" She asked, pointing to herself. She looked him dead in the face with her puffy, red eyes awaiting his response.

"Onika, please calm down. Can we talk about this calmly?"

"No the fuck we can't Drake! How dare you say I'M selfish? I can't fuckin believe you!" Nicki was screaming at him. Her face red, her naked body hot. "You're so fuckin stupid!! You're the selfish fuck!!!! I'm trying Aubrey!! I'm trying to move us forward!! I want you!! I want us to fucking work baby, but you're not even sharing with me! I can't even look at you right now. Jus get the fuck outta my tent! Don't come back!!"

 "Nicki, look, I'm sorry! I-"

"Save ya got damn sorry's Drake," Her voice was low now. "I've heard enough of them. They don't mean shit to me anymore. Get the fuck out..."

"Onika-"

"GET OUT!!" She screamed. When she saw he wasn't moving, she picked up the closest thing next to her. She launched a bottle of OFF bug spray at him. He put his arms up and it hit his elbow. He still didn't budge. Nicki grabbed the bag of snacks and flung whatever she could his way. "GET OUT! GET OUT!! GET OOOUUTT!!!!!!!!"

Drake was pelted with water bottles, Famous Amos cookies, Almonds, Cranberries, Nature's Own granola bars, Rice Krispy treats and an apple. He was trying his best to block them, but they all hit him. Drake had had enough. There was no getting through to her at this point. He pissed her off and he knew it. But he knew he had to fix this.

"ONIKA STOP!!!" He yelled, with curses and snacks still flying his way.

"DON’T YOU FUCKIN TELL ME TO STOP!!" She yelled back, holding her cell phone in ready position. Before she could throw it, Drake had already grabbed her up. His hands were around her wrists.

"I SAID STOP!!!" He yelled in her face.

"WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I LISTEN TO YOU AUBREY?!?!?!?! WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I GIVE YOU WHAT YOU WANT?!?!?!! YOU DAMN SURE IGNORED THE FUCK OUTTA ME!!!!!!!!!!" She screamed in his face. Nicki slowly began lowering her arms and started sniffling. "You...... you..... you…… you rejected me Aubrey......"

"Onika," He shook his head. "No. I didn't reject you. I'm... not rejecting you."

"Yes.... you are... Why did you pull out? I... thought you... loved me? Don't you... want a family with me?" She asked, crying.

"Of course I do," Drake pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her. Nicki buried her wet face in his bare chest and cried. Her arms were the only things between them. "I'm jus not ready yet baby. I... I still need time and... you told me you could wait so I'm holdin you to that." Nicki opened her arms and wrapped them around his back, hugging him tight.

"I know, but.... I'm so ready.... I feel like we're both on.... two different paths.... traveling at different speeds..... I jus want our paths to cross Aubrey... That's it.... and I know you love me...." Nicki lifted her head up and looked him in the eyes. "I.... I jus wanna have your babies Drake..." She bit her lip. "It jus hurts me knowing you're not ready...." Her eyes watered and Drake began wiping her tears away.

"Don't cry. We're gonna be ok... I promise. We're gonna be ok Onika." He kissed her forehead while rubbing her bare back. Drake then let her go slowly and motioned to leave.

"No, stay with me... please?" She asked, holding onto his arm. Drake looked into her pleading eyes and nodded his head. Nicki held open her sleeping bag for him and he squeezed in, lying on his back. Nicki climbed on top of him, lying on his chest; her head under his chin. She zipped them up and he placed his hands under his head.

"Hold me baby..." Nicki whispered, not lifting her head to look at him. Drake wrapped both his arms around her nude body and held her close. Nicki drifted off listening to the beat off his heart. Boom badoom boom... Boom badoom boom...  

The Next Morning...

Nicki was already wide awake as Drake continued to sleep. She was still lying on top of him, her arms folded over his heaving chest as she looked up at his face.

“Drake?” She breathed.

He didn’t respond.

“Drake?” She asked, a little louder. He was still unresponsive. Nicki inched her body upward and hung her face over his. “Drake?” She whispered against his lips. Obviously still asleep, Drake didn’t move a muscle. Nicki placed her right hand against the side of his stubbled face and lightly ran her thumb over his cheek. “Baby, wake up. It’s morning.”

Drake wiggled his nose and let a breath out through his nostrils while turning his head to his right. “I’m up…” He said with closed eyes.

“No, I need you all the way up. You hafta leave today, remember?”

Drake slowly opened his eyes remembering he did indeed have to leave. “Aww, shit…” He looked at Nicki. “What time is it?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. My phone won’t turn on. It must’ve died last night.”

“Get up. We need to go.”

Nicki rolled off of him and watched him as he stood. Drake then observed the sea of snacks scattered all over the tent. So did Nicki. She looked away rubbing the back of her neck when he glanced down at her.

“Sorry, I’ll clean it up.”

“No, don’t apologize. I got it. You put some clothes on.” Drake began picking up the small bags and packets of junk food. Nicki grabbed her panties and slid them on while sitting down. She then stood up and pulled on her pants. Drake had just finished picking up the bottles of Dasani and putting them back in the snack bag Nic packed for them. He sat the bag down then went to unzip the entrance of the tent.

“I’ll be back.” He said, turning around to look at her. She had just hooked her bra together in the front and was now twisting it around to slide the straps up her arms.

“Where you goin?”

“Get our shoes. And my sleeping bag.”

“Ok, well hurry up. I don’t want you to miss your flight…. When is it anyway?”

“Uhh, at one I think.” He said, stepping out of the tent.

Nicki stepped out of her sleeping bag and began rolling it up. “Ok, hopefully we should be home before then.”

After Nic had successfully rolled her bag up, Drake came back in with their socks and boots. “Here.” He said, tossing her her socks. He then placed her boots down a few inches away from her. He put on his pants then his socks and boots and watched Nicki as she struggled to get the heel of her foot into one of her shoes. He walked over to her. “Sit down, I’ll help you.” Nicki looked at him then carefully took a seat. “Gimme ya foot.” She lifted her leg up, placing the heel of her shoe on his thigh while resting back on her hands. With a couple tries, Drake carefully eased her tiny foot into the boot. He tied her shoe for her then did the same for her other foot.

“Thank you.”

“You don’t hafta thank me Onika. Come on,” He grabbed her hand. “We should hurry.” Drake pulled her up and they both picked up everything in the tent and exited. They sat their things down by the random boulder Drake had made himself familiar with the day before then began disassembling the tent, pole by pole, hook by hook. Twenty minutes passed and the sun was beginning to rise. They squeezed all the tent parts into its proper box and Drake tucked it under his arm. They threw on their back packs, grabbed their sleeping bags and started to descend the mountain. About fifteen minutes into their descent, they started getting all sweaty. Beads began dripping down Drake’s muscular back. Nicki was behind him so she watched as her boobz started to dampen. They were both shirtless and oh so hot. It may have only been morning, but the temperature was already in the high eighties.

“Drake? How long did it take us to climb this damn thing?” Nicki asked while stepping over a rather large ant hill.

Drake looked back at her, licking his lips. “About an hour…”

Nicki rolled her eyes and they kept moving. Ninety minutes later they had reached his car. They threw everything in the trunk and exhaustedly walked to their designated doors, opened them and got in. Drake started the car and then pulled off. On the ride back to Nicki’s everything was so quiet. Neither one of them said anything to each other. They glanced at each other a few times, but only to see if the other one had said something. The radio was off so all they heard were the rolling of the tires against the asphalt streets. When they got to Nic’s house, Drake carried everything inside. He told Nic he had it so she left him to his task and rushed to the shower she desperately needed. After she came out, she wanted to charge her phone, but couldn’t find it. She went downstairs wrapped in her towel and saw Drake sitting on the couch with his cell to his ear and a notepad in front of him. He was jotting down some notes the person on the other end of the phone were feeding him. When he saw Nic, he asked the person to hold on then put the phone to his chest and waited for her to say something.

“Um, have you seen my phone? I can’t find it.” She asked, standing on the last step with one foot on the step before it; her left hand holding her towel up in the front, her right on the banister.

“Yea, I put it on the charger. Look in the kitchen.” He put the phone back up to his ear as Nicki went in the kitchen to get it and take it back to her room. When she came back out, Drake had just gotten off the phone. “Hey, you think I can use your shower now?” He asked her as she began going up the steps.

“Yea, I’m done.”

Drake sat his phone and the notepad on the coffee table and walked upstairs, five steps behind Nic. When they reached her room, Nicki threw her towel on the bed and sat next to it. She began lotioning up as Drake went into her bathroom to shower. He came out with a towel wrapped around his waist. Nicki was already dressed and just lying on her bed staring out her window. She was on her stomach with a pillow under her head and her hands tucked under it. Drake looked over at her and began walking her way. Nicki looked back at him without lifting her head, but didn’t say anything. She then started looking out of the window again. Drake sat down on the edge of the bed with his back towards her. He took the towel off and started putting lotion on. As the minutes past, the clock read 11:48am. Drake was now in a fresh pair of briefs and putting on his last ankle sock. He looked back at a mute Nicki. He didn’t bother asking what was wrong because he knew. Drake just sighed and turned back around, standing up. He put his clothes on and then his sneakers. His knee wasn’t as bruised as it had previously been. The swelling of the injured area subsided and it was now just a faint purple mark. It still hurt though, but not enough to cause him to limp. He looked at his watch and decided he should get going.

“Nicki? I… I gotta go.”

“I know.” She breathed, not looking at him.

Drake walked over to her bedside and placed his hand on her back, giving it a gentle rub as he bent down to her level. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” She still hadn’t looked at him.

Drake knelt down beside her and she buried her face in her pillow. He bit his lip and tried a different approach. He began softly stroking her hair. He kissed her head and he could hear her taking small breaths. He didn’t know what to say, but he didn’t want to ignore it.

“Don’t… don’t worry baby. I’ll be back…”

Nicki’s breaths got deeper and you could hear her crying. She lifted her head up and looked at him. “I know, you’ll only be gone for two weeks, but… you know how these things work Aubrey…. Two weeks turns into two months…. Then two months turns into six months…. And…. And before you know it….. We haven’t seen each other for forever…”

Drake stared into her wet eyes knowing that everything she said was right. Nicki buried her head in the pillow once more. “Onika, you know I’ll call you. I’ll even fly you out to some of my shows to see me. Baby, we can make this work. Besides you’re jumping a little ahead of yourself. My manager called today and said I’ll only be on this tour for four weeks.”

“Four? Last time it was only two… see Aubrey? I told you… and who knows what I’ll be doing by then? A lot can happen in four weeks.”

Drake sighed. “I can’t tell you what’s gonna happen cuz I honestly don’t know myself. We’ll jus hafta wait and see.”

“Wait and see…. It’s always waiting with you Aubrey.” Nicki turned her head away from him.

Drake stood with a frown, pulling up his pants, and walked towards the door. He opened it then looked back at her. “I’ll call you when my flight lands in Toronto. I love you.” He turned to go downstairs as Nicki watched him leave. She stared at the door Drake left open for them. She heard him shuffling around in the living room. She heard him walking towards the front door. She heard him opening it. Nicki hopped up out of her King sized bed and ran downstairs.

“Drake wait!” She yelled as she heard the front door closing. He hadn’t heard her. Nicki rushed to open the door. She saw him walking to his car. “Aubrey?! Baby, please wait!” He turned around and stopped to look at her. “Aubrey wait…” She said out of breath, running over to him. She threw her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly.

“What’s wrong?”

“You promise you’ll call me?” She asked, still hugging him.

“Yea, are you okay?”

“I’m fine….” She pulled back, arms still around his neck, and looked him in the face. “Jus don’t forget ok?”

“I won’t. I promise.” He kissed her lips and then took his arms from around her waist to leave, but she still held on to him. “Um, Nicki?”

“Yes?”

“I kinda need to hurry up.”

“Yea… you do…”

Drake tried to pull away again. Fail.

“Haha, Onika?”

“Hm?”

“You hafta let me go so I can leave baby.”

“Oh.” Nicki giggled. “Sorry.” She let him go.

“I’m glad you think it’s funny. So if I miss my flight, I can blame you, right?” He asked with his sly grin.

Nicki smiled.

“Heeey, there are those beautiful dimples I love to see.” He placed his index finger under her chin and ran his thumb over her left dimple. Nicki blushed even harder exposing them more.

“I’ma need you to stop playin with my face.” She laughed. Nicki lightly pressed on his chest, playfully pushing him. Drake began stepping back with the more pressure she applied.

“Hahaha! So I can’t play wit’chu now?”

“Oh my God. Pauz that! Hahahaha, please leave Aubrey! You’re gonna be late sir.”

Drake smiled and they kissed a final time. He walked to his car and Nicki watched him get in. He started it up as she waved goodbye with a pouty lip. Drake pulled off with a few beeps of the horn and Nicki watched as his car disappeared down the road. When she could no longer see it, she walked back inside and closed the door.

Yup…. So uhh… thas it :/ I’d appreciate a few comments… please…. Thank you in advance… Oh yea, idk who is still into this thing so if you would be so kind as to leave your twitter names in your comment so that I can @ u nex time I post. That’d b nice. Tank you. :)